NCS Presents: A Hater's Guide to the WNBA

Whether you’re a new fan just getting in the mix, or a die-hard trying to spice up your experience, this guide will get you ready to beef with your neighbor.

Greetings! On behalf of the Coalition of Ethical Haters, I’d like to welcome you to another exciting WNBA Season.

This year features a ton of fresh and exciting storylines and a fun new challenge from Commissioner Cathy Englebert.

During an interview at the WNBA Draft, Englebert said people tuning in this year want to see household names, games of consequence and rivalries.

Now that last one is tricky because the W has previously been a no negativity zone so we’re ushering in a new era!

The key to hating is to do it ethically and that means 1. admit you’re hating and 2. be informed with your hate. That’s where this guide will come in handy. Whether you’re a new fan just getting in the mix, or a die-hard trying to spice up your experience, this guide will get you ready to beef with your neighbor and slander with the best of them. So let’s dive right in, shall we?

LAS VEGAS ACES

We’ll start with the most important team in the league because not only are they the reigning WNBA champions, but they’re my squad and therefore blessed, highly favored and virtually unhateble. But we can try to find something.

Opps – Everyone that hates South Carolina Gamecock fans. Many of us followed A’ja Wilson from college to the new franchise she was drafted by and with USC just winning another NCAA title people are absolutely sick of the uncommon favor we possess. We’re still good, so prepare to be sick of us once again.

Notable storylines – Ok so elephant in the room…the Dearica Hamby situation. There were some issues when she got pregnant and later traded to the Los Angeles Sparks. This led to a league investigation that resulted in Becky Hammon being suspended two games. It’s now a legal matter and as a result, many pray on our downfall.

ATLANTA DREAM

The Dream also require effort to hate because they pretty much mind their business and make dope social content. Head coach Tanisha Wright is kind of annoying and makes questionable decisions in the game, then gets pissy when asked about that in the postgame, so there’s an angle.  

Opps – Lowkey South Carolina Gamecock fans lmfaoooooo. Whenever A’ja Wilson and Aliyah Boston come to town, Gamecock Fams pull up by the bus load and turn it into a home game for them and you can tell that kinda gets under Wright’s skin a little. On the court I’m gonna go head and assign y’all Dallas to beef with. Former Wings head coach Vickie Johnson is now on staff for the Dream and former Wings Rookie of the Year Allisha Gray starts, so feel free to roast Dallas for fumbling the bag if Atlanta is ahead in the standings at any point in time.

Notable storylines – There was a brief spat with the New York Liberty last year that may resurface this year, so keep an eye on that. Also Chennedy Carter of the Chicago Sky used to play for the Dream and they did her incredibly dirty with this BS suspension that was never fully explained, so be on the lookout for a revenge game.

CHICAGO SKY

The Sky are the hottest team in the country right now and are going to bring out so many celebrities it’s probably going to be intimidating to teams that aren’t used to bringing the hoes out. This coupled with the fiery personalities of new head coach and former WNBA legend Teresa Weatherspoon and rookie Angel Reese means it’s showtime in Sky Town and that might piss some people off.

Opps – Indiana Fever. Many have dubbed the Angel Reese Caitlin Clark rivalry the W’s version of Magic vs Bird so I guess we have no choice but to roll with it. You can’t mention one without the other and they will be battling in what will be the most exciting Rookie of the Year race in years, so the head-to-head matchups will feed families.

Notable Storylines – Witherspoon was a legend for the New York Liberty. They put them in the dirt during the preseason and I hope that continues. Also, the Sky are arguably the brokest franchise in the W so Sky fans be prepared if somebody uses Angel’s “get your money up” clips against you.

CONNETICUT SUN

The Connecticut Sun are always a bridesmaid never the bride. They’re good enough to be in conversations, but simply not that girl and therefore never dominate them. Their fanbase is elderly and they’re in an insanely unsexy city. They invoke more lukewarm irritation than burning hate.

Opps – America’s interest. But seriously, the Aces and the Liberty. The Aces waxed them on the way to title number one and last year the Liberty, with former Connecticut Sun Jonquel Jones, knocked them out the playoffs on the way to the finals. Alyssa Thomas was in the MVP race with LV’s A’ja Wilson and NY’s Breanna Stewart. Basically they’re always in that 1-2-3 race demanding nobody disrespeCTs them and leaves them out of the conversation.

Notable Storylines – Dijonai Carrington is pretty online so that’s always interesting to see when she decides to chime in on W Twitter chatter. Also Dewanna Bonner and Thomas are engaged and the only couple left on a team that had like two, three the other year. Love always wins, except in the finals.

DALLAS WINGS

Ok so for years I’ve been referring to this team as the Dallas Wings University because once you leave the Wings, you go on to do great things. Seriously this team has fumbled so much talent it’s not even funny, but I think this is the year they turn the corner and become a serious franchise. Or not, then it’s time to hate on them once again.

Opps – Atlanta. See Dream entry above. Team president Greg Bibb is responsible for the fumbling of the aforementioned talent so he counts as an opp too.

Notable Storylines – Arike Ogunbowale is one of the most electrifying and exciting players to watch when she’s on. When she’s not, the wailing of the rim and backboard coming through your tv screen can be chilling. You can get two different experiences sometimes in the same game, so good luck with that. Sincerely, a former Wings fan.  

INDIANA FEVER

What can I say about this team that hasn’t already been said. The hype train is blasting ahead at warp speed leaving nothing but discourse and destruction in its path. Those on board are in for the ride of their lives as the destination is most likely a first-round exit.

Opps – most of America, specifically Black America. Also, an undisclosed amount of vets. Caitlin Clark is the W’s version Zion Williamson and everyone wants a shot at her, everyone. She’s already commanding some crazy defensive attention in preseason games and handling it well. She’s going to have rookies going at her as the ROY battle is sure to be a tight one in addition to vets that don’t want to get shown up. Indy is getting everyone’s best shot this year so they better be ready.

Notable Storylines – Every single one and you will be made aware of all of them 24/7 by the World Wide Leader in Sports.

LOS ANGELES SPARKS

Derek Fisher ruined this storied franchise and he has not yet paid for his sins. They are in somewhat of an unnecessary rebuild because that doofus ran off the franchise players. There aren’t too many reasons to hate them, just him and primarily him.

Opps – Minnesota Lynx. These two franchises have had some epic playoff battles over the years and this might be the year to restore the negative feeling during the regular season as both teams are relatively young and trying to find their way. Also, and I cannot stress this enough, Derek Fisher. If you see him out in the wild, call the police.  

Notable Storylines – Nneka Ogwumike was one of the cornerstone pieces Fisher ran off. She’s in Seattle so potential revenge game. Cam Brink was voted the biggest s--- talker in the Pac-12 (R.I.P) in an unofficial No Cap Space poll. Let’s see if that continues. Rodeo Drive Rickea Jackson and Brink are going to get some amazing fits off so be on the lookout for that.  

MINNESOTA LYNX

Head coach Cheryl Reeve is not afraid to get on Twitter and sling some mud. She fed into the propaganda machine saying their preseason game wasn’t televised because the league wanted to focus on Caitlin Clark, but conveniently left out how the Lynx Sky game got moved from Saturday to Friday at the last minute. She’s very outspoken and can put herself in a pack if not careful.

Opps – See Sparks entry.

Notable Storylines –  Aerial Powers and Reeve kinda hated each other by the end of last year with Powers taking to Twitter and not so subtly announcing she was getting the heck off this team ASAP. She’s now with the Atlanta Dream so be on the look out for a revenge game.

NEW YORK LIBERTY

I’m literally trying not to pound a hole in my keyboard typing this. THIS TEAM SUCKS! YOU CANNOT SPELL LIBERTY WITHOUT THE L! Last year’s finals loss was incredibly embarrassing I don’t care what anybody says. Their league MVP disappeared when they needed her most and Sabrina Ionescu continues to be treated as more than a role player. They talk trash in the most unseasoned way imaginable but then if you say something as simple as “their chemistry is weak” there’s wailing and gnashing of teeth. It doesn’t help that the media coddles them and they became America’s sweethearts for mostly racial reasons. Also they cut Jaylyn Sherrod, the only bright spot in an absolutely lackluster preaseaon showing.

Opps – Me. I carry the overwhelming majority of the hate they receive within my heart at all times. It sustains me, it entertains me. It comforts me when I’m down and takes me to another level when I’m already up. If there is no one hating on the Liberty that means my account has been suspended. Even then, if you open your window and listen closely, you’ll hear me hating in the distance.  

Notable Storylines – Last year they won the Commissioner’s Cup, the W’s in-season tournament, acted like they won a championship. That banner is the only thing hanging up in those empty, gloomy Barclays rafters as the Liberty are one of the only franchise in the W without a title. For context, they’ve been around since the league’s inception.  

PHOENIX MERCURY

The Mercury are weird. Kahleah Copper went from beefing with Sophie Cunningham to joining forces with her. Natasha Cloud is very outspoken on social justice issues but is now besties with Cunningham who at one point was following on Twitter the very worst that MAGA had to offer. Basically what I’m saying is Sophie Cunningham is pretty easy to hate and it’s spread. Not to mention Diana Taurasi is very old and won’t stop hitting people because she’s old. All these things plus the mistreatment of Skylar Diggins-Smith, PLUS their new coach admitting to not knowing much about the W, makes them a perfect target for some good old fashioned hate.

Opps – Chicago and Seattle. In 2021 the Sky beat the Mercury in the WNBA Finals and Taurasi got mad and punched a door. The Sky brought the door on stage during their parade. Copper was Finals MVP of that team and wasn’t happy with the direction they were heading so she joined Phoenix. Diggins-Smith plays for Seattle and their preseason matchup let us know there is in fact bad blood and it will get deeply negative this year between those two teams.  

Notable Storylines – This team has bad vibes. Players were being cryptic the other year about needing therapy after the season they had, but nobody would say what happened. Tina Charles joined in hopes of a winning her first championship and when Brittany Griner was out for the season and the team stunk, she demanded a trade and they treated her like she betrayed them. Charles is in Atlanta so put that matchup on the revenge game list too.   

SEATTLE STORM

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned and we gone see what kind of hell Seattle will raise as Nneka Ogwumike and Skylar Diggins-Smith come from franchises that didn’t do right by them. Now if you don’t believe they’re the victims then you will definitely hate them.

Opps – Phoenix. Like seriously, Diggins-Smith was tweeting about being locked out of the training facility while still employed by them and not getting the care she was owed while pregnant and nobody reported on it because Diana Taurasi was going for her 10,000 point.

Notable Storylines – Skylar also hates the Liberty.  She just like me foreal. She got into an internet spat with one of their players a few years ago over a game highlight and dropped like 30 on their heads the next time they played. I hope there’s still beef.

WASHINGTON MYSTICS

The Washington Mystics gave their season ticket holders bags of microwavable popcorn. Insanely broke behavior. Mike Thibault also didn’t draft Rhyne Howard and two years later they’re still looking for someone who can score…like Rhyne Howard.

Opps – Honestly I don’t think anyone hates the Mystics more than their own fans for the previously mentioned reasons. New York was on the opp list as Elena Delle Donne made Stewie her daughter every time they played, but EDD will not be in action this year so that rivalry is dormant at the moment.

Notable Storylines –  Mike’s son Eric took over as head coach, so see how fast his seat gets hot.